I always think of Max

When I think back on past Austria mission trips one major memory that sticks in my head is that of little Maxim. Max, was a political refugee from a neighboring country who couldn't speak a lick of English or German! Keaton was his small group leader and Max called him "feesh" or "fish" because in his language Keat meant fish...hahaha. I'll never forget Max because of one day when he drew for Keaton and myself a picture of his life, I still have the picture tucked away in a prayer journal which I'm staring at as I write this.
Max started at the top of a college ruled paper that Keaton handed him and he drew a house full of people. In the house Max began to draw two larger stick people standing next to a little one. Pointing at the little one he said "this Max". What Max had drawn was a picture of his family. Next, he took the black tipped felt pen and drew another house. This one was much smaller and it only had three larger stick figures inside, but none were Max. Outside of the smaller house Max drew another stick figure that carried what looked to be scales of some kind. Out beside that man he drew a bunch of dollar signs. Then max got really quick with his pen strokes, almost frustrated that we could not fully understand. Max went back to the larger house that held his family and he drew two other stick figures outside the house. He then made a siren sound with his mouth and started making gun noises. He started frantically X-ing out the stick figures inside of his house while making the gun noises louder and louder... all except the little one.
"Max," I asked, "did these men kill your family."
Max didn't have a clue what I had asked.
I tried again, "Max, papa kaput?"
"Ya." He replied.
I don't know who the men were, nor why they killed his family. What happened next is best explained by an entry in my prayer journal that night (8.8.06):
"Father it's humbling to watch a 15 year old Muslim child draw you a picture of how his father was killed, then watch him pull his pants leg up to show you the bullet wound in his own leg."
Keaton and I sat there taking in what we had only seen on television and then, by the grace of God, we were able to do what we came to do. We took the piece of paper from Max and drew what would have been cheesy to most Americans. We drew a cliff on the left and right side of the paper, separated by a canyon. Now, most of you reading this already know where it's going, but Max didn't. Next, we labeled all three of our names on the left side and then wrote "God" on the right. We drew a little stick figure on the cliff and little dotted lines that showed him falling into the cavern. We named the cavern "sin and death". Max looked intently at the paper, with his eye brows wrinkled as much as possible... Max was curious to see what these crazy Americans were doing. Keaton and I then began to draw a bridge across the gap, and the bridge was shaped like a cross. We took the little stick man and with dotted lines we walked him across, to be in the presence of God. Ironically, just below the man with scales and money signs outside the little house that Max drew stood another stick figure with his hands raised high with joy as he sat in the presence of God. Max pulled his pant leg back down and we all walked out of the room.
We didn't see Max after that week, we've never heard from him since. I often wonder what happened to Max. I often wonder where he lives, who he lives with or even if he is alive at all. When I wonder why we go to Austria, I always think of Max.

Whom or what you fear will control you

I’m one of those people who likes to make quirky little rules just to keep things shakin and unpredictable at all times. So, one of my rules is simple: anything my friend Wendy recommends to read, I buy the book and read it. The latest book she recommended was “When People are Big and God is Small” by Edward Welch. In my opinion, the most profound quote Welch makes is “whom or what you need will control you”. When this quote sank into me, I unknowingly rephrased it in my head to “whom or what you fear will control you”. I mean, think about the magnitude of this statement for a minute… WHOM OR WHAT YOU FEAR WILL CONTROL YOU. Before I make my point, consider these questions:

• Question: Why did we practice that sport so much in high school?
• Answer: either because we just loved to play it, we longed for perfection or in fear that we might not be as good as we were suppose to be.
• Expectation: when we are good at something, it usually defines us and we are expected to be good at it.
• Question: Why did we study so hard for those finals our senior year?
• Answer: We feared that we might fail the test and not graduate.
• Expectation: We are expected to pass high school, if not we are failures.
• Question: Why did we buy mums for our homecoming dates?
• Answer: out of fear that if we didn’t we might disappoint them.
• Expectation: In Texas, we are expected to buy the biggest, prettiest mum for our dates.
• Question: Why did we make it home in time to meet our curfew?
• Answer: Out of fear that our parents would punish us.
• Expectation: Our parents expected us to be on time.
• Question: Why do we make sure our projects are due by the due date?
• Answer: out of fear that we might lose our jobs
• Expectation: Our bosses expect us to perform to their standards.

See my point? Much of what we do is driven by fear and much of that fear is driven by expectation. When I refer to fear I intend to use the word in all its potential. In other words, fear = scared, reverence, respect, anxious, afraid, concerned, profound respect (all of which are used in defining the word).

In high school and some of college I daily toiled at the sport I played. However, I didn’t do so because I loved being out there, rather I did so because everyone expected me to be good, so I feared not being good. I feared failing, therefore I practiced every day.

What about those times we just put on some plastic, fake front with certain people? Is that not the same reason I practiced so much? We fear what they may think of us, we fear what they expect of us.

Take a minute to think about your life. What are some of the expectations you live under? How do those expectations drive the fear inside of you?

So here is one of mine: I’m a youth pastor. I’m paid to pastor people, namely students.

• Expectation: I’m expected to know all the answers to theological questions.
• Fear: If I don’t know an answer, I’m a bad pastor, I’m a failure.
• Truth: I don’t know all the answers.
• Expectation: I’m expected to have my own life in perfect order and be above sin.
• Fear: If I sin I should lose my job. If something goes wrong in my life I will let others down. If I’m not perfect, I’m a failure.
• Truth: I sin daily, I’m unworthy of my position, I’m far from perfect.
• Expectation: I’m always happy, always excited
• Fear: If I’m not happy I’ll let others down, I’ll poorly represent Christ and the joy of serving Him.
• Truth: Weekly I’m drained, daily I’m dependant and occasionally I want to crawl into a big dark hole and escape the world.

Fear drives us whether we acknowledge it or not. The fear of people drives us, whether we know it or not. We fear what they might think, who we might disappoint or who will judge us. Whom or what you fear will control you.

Now to bring this full circle and bring to life the “profound” part of this statement. If we fear people, they will control us. They will control our thoughts, our guilt and our actions. So, maybe this plays some part in God commanding us to fear Him? Proverbs 1:7 and Psalm 111:10 say that the FEAR of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge. Proverbs 19:23 says that the fear of the Lord leads to life and whoever has it rests satisfied. David says in Psalm 27 that the Lord is his light and salvation; whom shall I fear? Maybe we should take a hint from David. Maybe we should rest in God’s grace like David did. Maybe we should know God’s sovereignty like David did. Maybe we should ask ourselves: do I fear man more than I fear God? In other words, have I made man big and God small? Maybe Jeremiah 17 should rest deep in our hearts and always be on the fronts of our minds.

Jeremiah 17:5-8

5Thus says the LORD:"Cursed is the man who trusts in man
and makes flesh his strength,
whose heart turns away from the LORD.
6 He is like a shrub in the desert,
and shall not see any good come.
He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness,
in an uninhabited salt land.

7 "Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
whose trust is the LORD.
8 He is like a tree planted by water,
that sends out its roots by the stream,
and does not fear when heat comes,
for its leaves remain green,
and is not anxious in the year of drought,
for it does not cease to bear fruit."

A few "gems" from Lamentations

Lamentations finds it’s “fame” in our hearts because of Chapter 3 where the author would say “his mercies are new every day”. A lot of the “gems” in Lamentations are found in this chapter, just like those arrow heads were found on the hill.

This book is made up of 5 poems showing grief and sorrow over the fall of Jerusalem. These poems morn the loss of the great nation, however this book gives us great hope in the person and the plan of our King. The author of the book is not identified, but is thought to be the prophet Jeremiah because of 2 Chronicles 35:25 where he was said to have “uttered a lament for Josiah”.

In my mind, chapter 3 can be broken up as follows: v. 1-20: Turmoil; v. 21: Pivot; v. 22-40: Hope; v. 41-66: Plea. The gems I will refer to are found in verses 22-40.

The Gems:

1. The steadfast love of the Lord NEVER ceases (v.22)

• If we believe this statement then why do we sometimes question God “why are you doing this to me? Where did you go? Why haven’t you heard me?”
• If we believe this statement why do we base our worth or value on what others think of us?
• If we believe this statement then why do we sometimes feel like we are “unloved” by people or even by God?

2. His mercies NEVER come to an end (v. 22)

• God is quick to forgive, slow to anger. Through the blood lens of His Son we are seen as holy, blameless and above reproach (Col 1:22)

3. His mercies are new EVERY morning (v. 23)

• This idea is similar to God providing manna to the Israelites daily. He only gave them enough for the day, it wasn’t suppose to last longer than that. It showed a complete and daily dependence on the Father.
• His mercy is the same to us today. It is enough for today.
• If this statement is true, why to we lay in bed at night with the weight of the world on our chests? Do we not believe that his mercies will be new the very next day? Will manna truly show up to sustain us or not?

4. He is good to those who wait for Him and to the soul who seeks Him (v. 25)

• To wait on Him through pain, through fear, through uncertainty, through confusion, through sin, through doubt, through insecurities, through failure… through life.
• “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” -Psalm 46:10

5. He does not willingly afflict or grieve the children of men (v. 33)

• This verse is not to say that he doesn’t do it, rather that he does not do it willingly. In other words, God takes no pleasure in it, but sin would force a mighty and holy God to be just. Edward Welch would say it this way: “Holiness is not one of the many attributes of God. It is his essential nature and seen in all his qualities.”

6. Things the Lord does not approve: (vv. 34-36)

a. To crush underfoot all prisoners of the earth

b. To deny a man justice in the presence of the Most High

c. To subvert a man in his lawsuit

• So God disapproves of injustice in all forms and of brutal oppression of prisoners… which again points towards the unjust.

Notes on Lamentations from Dr. Constable:

I thought about stealing this, but I’d better give Dr. Constable the creditJ. I thought this was a great breakdown of the faithfulness of God shown in this book:

"Jeremiah wrote seven principles about the nature of Israel's affliction:

(1) Affliction should be endured with hope in God's salvation, that is, ultimate restoration (Lam. 3:25-30).

(2) Affliction is only temporary and is tempered by God's compassion and love (vv. 31-32).

(3) God does not delight in affliction (v. 33).

(4) If affliction comes because of injustice, God sees it and does not approve of it (vv. 34-36).

(5) Affliction is always in relationship to God's sovereignty (vv. 37-38; cf. Job 2:10).

(6) Affliction ultimately came because of Judah's sins (Lam. 3:39).

(7) Affliction should accomplish the greater good of turning God's people back to Him (v. 40)." –From Dr. Constable, DTS.

A gem in the woods

Growing up I lived a life any child would and should envy. We lived in spontaneity, found clarity through adventure and even dabbled in a little bit of trouble. However, one of the most memorable things I will always keep dear to my heart is going and “playing” on the acreage at my grandparents’ house. Though there are many memories to talk about, one in particular illustrates my point.

As a kid I thought the acreage out there spanned about 50,000 miles in any direction and that lions, tigers and bears roamed the place! I also thought (thanks to my dads’ imaginative mind) that real Indians still lived out there! I remember when this thought really sunk into my head one day as we were hiking through the miles and miles of woods, at least that’s what it felt like to me. We had been walking for what seemed like days and we were in creeks, out of creeks, through creeks, over hills, under trees… we were lost! Well, maybe not lost but as a kid it seemed like home was miles and miles away. I was tired and maybe a bit grumpy and just about ready to head back. We had been wading through these woods for so long and I had nothing to show for it other than my soar feet and soggy shoes! Nothing to show for it until the keen Indian tracking abilities of my father came into play.

“Jason!” he yelled. “come ‘er boy.”

Wide eyed I scampered up the side of a hill, soggy shoes and all and ran to the side of my super-human father.

“What did you find?” I asked.

But without him even answering I peered down into the pile of rocks and noticed something I will never forget! It was a real… no, a genuine…. could it have actually been in battle and killed someone? It was perfect, a perfect point at the end, with a perfect nock to tie onto the end of the stick. I mean WOW… this was a real, genuine Indian arrow head! It was pristine! This painful walk through all the brush and trees and creeks landed me right on top of a gem and I never knew it! My dad always told me they were there, but man was he right!

Recently I have experienced the return of that same feeling. I have been wading through the book of Lamentations only to notice a Gem found deep with in the book. Sometimes when I try and dig into books that I don’t immediately understand I feel like that little kid again, just ready to go home. But, just like my father revealing that arrow head to me, the grace of my King is also sufficient to reveal His Word to me as well. Though my “feet might be soar” and my “shoes might be soggy”, it makes it all the more impactful when I persevere to find that gem hidden deep in the woods. Sometimes those gems are just sitting on the surface, but we find ourselves so lost in the woods we don’t take the time to look down at the obvious places.

Colossians 3:16: “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.”

How refreshing it is to dwell richly in His Word, and how sinful I am to let the business of life crowd that out. Lord might your Word dwell richly in us!

Have we become too busy?

My Problem: I have a confession to make… I’m a workaholic. The funny thing about that statement is that to many of us it seems very arrogant to say this. The truth of the matter is I’ve erased that first sentence 3 times already because it sounds like I’m being cocky. I feel like I’m saying “hey look at how diligent, hard working and successful I am”. Rather, let me tell you what I’m really saying by that statement: I’m saying that I neglect my sweet little yellow lab that waits at home for me all day. I’m saying that I shun my wonderful family that lives 5 minutes from my house and I never drop by just to visit. I’m saying that I take my best friend for granted and have to plan 3 weeks out to hang with him… he lives in my same neighborhood. I’m saying that it’s 8:06 p.m. on Monday night and I’ve spent all day “working” and have yet to spend time with my Savior. I’m saying that I have not taken the time to pray today because I “have too much to do”. I’m saying I was 1 ½ hours late in meeting up with my boys last night because of other places I had to be at. I’m saying my nephew turns 4 this weekend and I can’t make it to his birthday party because of my over commitment. I’m saying we just got done with a series titled “Simplicity” and I just don’t get it. I have a confession to make… I’m a workaholic.

My Question: Do I let my busyness crowd out my God, my family and my friends? So what’s the root of our obsession with this busy success? Is it that I am afraid of failure? Is it that I fear man and not God? Is it that I trust myself too much and God too little? Why can’t I BE STILL, and know that He is God? Why can’t I SIT at the feet of Christ? Why can’t I do so without GUILT?

My Goal: to seek Him with my first fruits and enjoy those around me. Meaning, I want to BE STILL in God, SIT at the feet of Christ without GUILT before my mind starts in on me. Chancey is actually the one I credit for my new found goal. One day he came back from Starbucks and said “man, I just had a great time in the Word.” Jealously I asked why and his response was simple: “Man, my mind was just really clear today.” Though this may look different to everyone, to me it’s getting to my morning meetings 45 minutes early with only my Bible. It’s me going to Starbucks (because I can’t get internetJ) with my prayer journal in hand. It’s me taking time to hang out with my friends for no reason at all. It’s me making a fire in the cast iron fireplace at our farm and joyfully scratching up my Bible with no one to interrupt me except that sweet little yellow lab nudging me with her wet nose. My goal, is to seek Him with my first fruits and enjoy those around me.

Pray Much?

As we find ourselves daily in the lives of students and daily living the call to disciple people, we often discover that we are great tacticians. I mean come on, we map out our lesson plans, list out their struggles, toil over curriculum and lose sleep over their problems. We come up with strategic ministry philosophies, leadership structure, create excel spreadsheets of our students and we now even have an online database! Don’t get me wrong, all of these things are good as we attempt to be faithful in serving God, however sometimes we act like we’re trying to judge the latest trend in the stock market rather than change the heart of a student! Lest we forget that we can’t change the heart of a student! Sometimes I laugh at my ignorant, arrogant self as I spend countless hours strategizing on how to impact the heart of a specific student and then realize I can do nothing outside of His grace. Romans 12:12 would call me to be “constant in prayer”, yet I want to rely on some Excel sheet I created. Romans 10:1 would tell us of Paul’s prayer to God “for them is that they may be saved”, yet I map out a 5 step plan on how to change their life. Paul would say in Colossians 4 to “pray for us, that God may open to us a door for the word, to declare the mystery of Christ”, and I stay up at night trying to think another strategic way to get into their lives. I have to question myself: do I spend as much time in prayer for my students as I do strategizing on the next great thing I’m going to do with them? I hope to.

Rejoice! We serve a mighty King

If we take a minute and are honest with ourselves we often start thinking thoughts of how ministry needs us. We feel like our performance will ultimately affect the success of the ministry. We sometimes think we are an irreplaceable part of the ministry. Often times this leads us to feelings of guilt, burnout or a lack of self worth. The fact is, ministry does not need us, we need ministry. We need to be in service of our King. We need to be pouring out what has been poured into us. We need to be daily dependant on Him.

Do you remember the joy you once had when you saw the Spirit working in the life of that student you were discipling? Do you remember the joy that bubbled with in you when you saw that there was no other answer than it had to be God moving in their hearts? Can you recall being in awe over the grace of God in a ministry situation? Sometimes I can’t remember those things until I stop and think about them and then I can’t help but smile from ear to ear. I smile because I experience true fullfilment, true value, true mission in my life.

Romans 5:1-2 says: “Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God.”

When John Piper teaches this verse he exclaims every time: “Get to the end of the verse!”. His point is that because of our position in Christ we are able to rejoice in the hope of God! We rejoice that it is Him doing the work both in us and through us. It is Him who sustains us, Him who equips us and Him who allows us to minister His Gospel!

Do we rejoice in the hope and the glory of God? Do we rest in knowing that no matter how bad it looks He still remains sovereign? Do we delight in the fact that it is Him who is going to change the lives of our students and it’s not up to us? Do we daily rejoice because we serve a mighty King?

Faith Defined

When it comes to academics I’m what you might describe as a well oiled machine with all steel plated parts, fine tuned to perfection… but I just don’t have a power cord. I’ve been set up all my life to receive the best in academia, but for some reason I never seemed to “turn on” to any of it. I know, I’m a big fat lazy loser, but hey at least I’m not a liar huh? Most of my academic journey has been about as fun as jamming toothpicks in my eye balls, but seminary has proved slightly different. Now my grades might not reflect it, but contrary to popular belief I actually like going to DTS! One of my favorite professors (yes Elizabeth I have many FAVORITES!) is Dr. Allman. Now, Big Al (as I call him… just not to his face of course) taught me one of the most valuable and memorable things I’ve learned thus far at DTS. One day in class, he took a dry erase marker and drew on the entire board a definition of faith.

“Faith,” he said, “starts as knowledge. It starts by the knowledge in the person of God, then it proceeds to knowledge in the plan of God.”

He then wrote the word KNOWLEDGE in all caps on the board.

“Next is what I call Assent. Faith is taking that knowledge that we know of who God is and what his will and plan is and ascending that knowledge into what we accept as truth. ‘You believe that God is one; you do well. Even the demons believe – and shudder!’ so our knowledge is no good until we know it as truth in our hearts. Knowledge is no good until we have a love commitment because of 1 Peter 1:18. Knowledge is no good until we have a changed behavior. Knowledge is no good until you take risks. Knowledge is no good until you are able to hope in that knowledge.”

Dr. Allman then took his blue Expo marker and wrote to the right and just below KNOWLEDGE the words LOVE COMMITMENT in all caps.

“So because of what we know about God’s person and God’s plan, through the study of scripture we are able to accept that knowledge as truth, then we are able to commit to that knowledge because of the love commitment God has shown us in 1 Peter 1:18. Now because of the love commitment we have we are now able to hope in the person and the plan of God in all things. And in taking risks because of our faith we then prove the person and the plan of God.”

He took the marker and wrote out to the left of the last work the word RISK. He then took the marker and made a completed circle of all the words as if they all revolved over and over as one unit.

KNOWLEDGE
LOVE COMMITMENT
RISK

“Your knowledge of God’s person and God’s plan is the start of an ascension to believing in your heart that then allows you to be a part of a love commitment that you hope in which then allows you to take risks, which then prove the person and the plan of God. This is what we call faith. Faith in a God that is known, trusted and hoped in. Faith.”

Knowledge
In the person and plan of God

Assent
Accept what you know as truth

Love Commitment
1 Peter 1:18
Changed behavior
Risk

Hope
In the person and plan of God